JASON THOMAS - 'THE HARD WAY' - PART 9.
5th Jun 2013
“The Hard Way”
Jason Thomas
May 21st
Hello boys and girls, back with another blog and boy some crazy stuff has happened, as always since the last time! First off let’s go back to that mud race…. I’m sure most of you saw the DigitalOffroad edit of the race, and right around the 2 minute mark almost crapped your pants and jumped out of your seats when that nutter comes belting through the trees sideways?
Well, that nutter was this guy right here writing this! My nickname since I got my first pro ride in England, given by my first mechanic was “Rat-boy”. I was given this name because my mechanic (Chris Bumford) aka Joey said I was like a rat up a drain pipe, ha! Some people believe that comes from the way I ride up slippery hills, while others have seen me in the nightclub, ha!!!
Anyway since this last (or close to last, as in near death) tree dodge, I’m now known as Cat-boy because I always land on my feet, and I seem to have 9 lives, ha, ha! Now, you might have noticed I said that this tree dodge was close to my last near death experience right? Well that’s because the most recent one happened just a few short days later in a Walgreen’s pharmacy in Crawfordsville, Indiana.
After the Muddoth race (the Mammoth GNCC) it was time to get ready for 4 days of instructing at some DirtWise Riding schools along side my mate and boss Shane Watts. I picked Wattsy up from the Indy airport on Wednesday and we headed up to the track in Crawfordsville, the same place as the Ironman GNCC race. We were greeted by the very accommodating Shaver family and soon after started our setup. The first 2 days ran very smooth and the conditions were epic – a little rain had made our woods loops like riding on extremely sticky blue tack. It was fantastic!
Later that night after the first school (Friday) Wattsy and myself were invited to dinner with the Shavers and some friends. Wattsy and I were the first to show at a very posh country/golf club. Not having a clue we would be dining in such a high class restaurant, and Wattsy not giving anything away with his usual fancy attire (10 year old t-shirt with wear holes, Bermuda shorts, and a pair of flippers I think he stole from a hobo down under) I showed up in my blue sweat pants, flip flops, a KTM-Parts.com hoodie, and the underarmour pants I had ridden in for two days…….
We were greeted in the lobby by a very nice lady, and soon after the head poncho asking us if we were the wedding decorators! Wattsy replied with a quick, “Yes mate, and we drive a Kia” classic come back. Anyway we were saved by the others showing up to confirm that we were not there to rob the place, and all was good. Prime rib was recommended and I scoffed it down no problem followed by a nice desert. I’m not really sure whauptime desert was but it had nuts and apple in it. Soon after that it was time to go back to the motel, but no sooner had we stepped outside that my guts started doing back flips!
I told Wattsy to get in the van, sit down, shut up, and hold on. Always very supportive when a fellow mate is about to follow through into his already dead smelling undies, Wattsy sat across from me on the verge of pissing his pants. I pinned it to a nearby Walmart, dodging cars, running lights, and wiping beads of sweat from my brow. I pulled up and pegged it into Wal Mart just in the nick of time……. BOOM!!!!!
As the gut cramps started to ease and my heart rate returned to normal I started to notice my feet itching. No biggy, I mean I just ran into Wal Mart in my flip flops at Mach 10 so it must have been that, right? Wrong! Soon after the itchy feet, my head got hot and started to itch, so I finished and cleaned up my bog and pegged it back to the van. Things just kept getting worse though. In the past in 2011 I had a reaction to an ant bite – I was bitten in Florida by a red ant and ended up in hospital with a head the size of Texas and red blobs all over my body. I may have just gotten bitten again or it was the nuts in that yummy desert? Either way it was a race against the clock now to find a pharmacy as I had left my Epi pen in my bag at home, in OHIO….. Nice one!!!
By this time Wattsy had actually pissed his pants, and he was finding it hard to breathe as well. Again, I was blowing red lights, scratching my body like a crack head, and swelling up by the second. I pegged it into Walgreen’s looking for Benadryl. I had almost found it when I collapsed mid aisle, with my throat and chest cavity constricting by the second. The woman in there at the Pharmacy counter ran over and I managed to explain I had an Epi pen but left it at home. Another woman sprung out from behind the counter like Rambo and…….. wham, just like that she stabbed me in the thigh with an Epi pen and juiced me up (such an overwhelming feeling!). Cat-boy just used up another one of those 9 lives.
Anyway, about 15 minutes went by and normal service had resumed in my body. I walked out and back to the van where the very concerned Wattsy awaited, either watching wrestling, or probably porn, on his iPhone none the wiser that I had just died on the floor in a Walgreens, and been brought back to life again, seriously! The only thing to show for it was a spot of blood on my sweat pants from the puncture wound from the Epi pen……
After that life went back to being pretty normal and we chilled in our hotel room – Wattsy got one of his killer Inner thigh cramps and was bouncing around like a frog in a box screaming like a little girl. Pretty funny really, and maybe it was a payback, ha!
So it was a pretty eventful weekend away from GNCC but it was soon time to get back into my routine and I felt very strong heading into the Limestone 100 (who wouldn’t after getting another chance at life!). Well, that is until 2 days before the race when I came down with a head cold.
I just told myself to stay positive and to make it through the race day. A text I received from my good mate Rem stuck with me all day – “Championships are won on your bad days”. As it turned out I almost got the win but 2nd place was good enough to put me into the points lead heading into some of my favorite tracks. I’m just about over my cold as I write this so as long as I dodge ants and nuts I should be strong for Round 7. I can’t wait to build on this strong foundation that I now have.
Until next time, don’t wear sweat pants to a golf club, and never attempt to die around Wattsy because he probably won’t even notice…….
Boom, boom, POW!!!